Personal Communication Skills

For your blog this week, think about the similarities and differences between how you evaluated yourself as a communicator and how others evaluated you. What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why? What other insights about communication did you gain this week? Choose at least two to share with others through your blog and consider how each might inform your professional work and personal life.

This assignment allowed me great insight into myself and into the realities we all may face in our personal and professional life when communicating with others.  In evaluating my communicating skills as a communicator, I believed myself to be a bit reserved and timid.  Unless the individuals communicating with are familiar people.  If there is a topic I am confident about or have ample information to support when discussing with someone, I am a bit more outspoken.  I foreseen myself being quiet and a bit more of an observer, than a speaker among groups, especially groups I am unfamiliar with.  After I took the self-test and evaluated my results, I felt they were rather accurate regarding my communication skills.  Ironically I decided to have two individuals that I felt knew me the best, my oldest sister and my husband to take the test based in response to myself.  My sister is just like my best friend as we have faced many adversities in our life together.  Then my husband, the individual who has spent the most time with me over the last several years.  I found their results to be rather shocking.  The response of my sister goes back to the comments I can recall her making regarding me over the years, I have a professional side and then there is Leslie.  My results ranked my communication skills high in communication anxiety, my verbal aggressive skills to be moderate, and my listening skills were focused on people.  As the results from my husband and sister were similar, as they ranked my communication anxiety lower, my verbal aggression higher.  The listening skills ranged in degree for each of them but was focused on people.  After I spoked and laughed together with each of them I began wondering how or why their results ended up different.  Personally I feel the environment given to an event of communication is key to how and what communication skills are utilized.  I continue to develop my self-concept as I develop and grow through life’s different experiences.  “You develop a self-concept by thinking about your strengths and weaknesses- thinking about yourself as active and scattered, as conservative and funny, as plain and popular, and so on” (O’Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2018 p. 64).  Our self-concept can change frequently, as we gain additional knowledge or experience in some areas verses others, or the feedback of others have begun to alter and change.  I feel every person carries several personas that portray who they are.  What mask or face will they communicate with to their children, or their pastor, the teacher at school, and so forth.  We are constantly growing in life, changing, and adapting through the diversities that we face in life.  When there is comfort we are more willing to remain less guarded or unreserved.  When we are unsure or uncertain, we tend to observe and learn or even adapt to the environment or situation.  In communicating it is very similar, as we see the differences in my results as to my family.  I wonder what my children’s teachers would have ranked me or even anyone reading my blog? In life I feel we have to constantly self-reflect on ourselves in every avenue of our life, and when we find the bumps or hiccups, we need to reflect in order to offer the best version of ourselves to everyone.  I have indeed tried to reflect from their results and think before speaking more, especially to the ones close to my life.  

            Additional insights I learned this week are as followed; Self-reflect is a must and self-awareness should always be engaged.  We should rely on other’s for feedback and take it honestly.  These are vital necessities in one’s personal and professional life for many reasons.  To ensure effective communication to other’s we have to ensure we are able to properly communicate.  Our self-concepts can only be a reflection in the mirror of what we want to see.  Until we rely on the feedback and impressions of other’s we can not see completely into the reflection in the mirror.  Our judgement is clouded, and we only see what we care to see.  For example I believe myself to be bit more reserved than my husband and sister declares.  Is that due to the relaxed nature of my attitude when around them or do I relay that message all the time?  This is the vital aspect of true feedback and self-reflection.  If I am given the opportunity to speak in public, I will indeed request for a survey at the end for my personal feedback.  I want to ensure I am practicing the Platinum Rule through every aspect of my life, so this could help with ensuring that as well. 

I shared this picture because I truly think it has a great symbol as to not only communication, but the concept of self-reflection and worth as well.  If the trees could tell the story's of all the people that passed, what a tale it would be!   

Reference

 O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.       

My Commuication

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?

If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

            I find that indeed my communication is different when surrounded by certain type of people or different people to say.  If I am around my family and friends I am very laid back and open to discuss any topic to say.  The comfort of nonjudgement is very high, as they love us and support us.  If I am around a group of individuals from another culture that I am limited in knowledge, I am a bit more reserved to say.  I observe and try to gather as much information that I assume I interpreted.  As I have recently learned from our last blog assignment, assumptions in communication can indeed be inaccurate.  For example when we do not understand the language being spoken, do we only read the body language of the individual or do we seek an opportunity to find a source for assistance in interpretation.  This is what I try to do if I encounter these situations.  Other situations where I may have a different approach or persona to say, would be around a group of professionals.  I would not utilize the use of slang or jargons, unless those jargons are appropriate for the conversation.  Based on the event and situation, will determine the individuals you are encountering or communicating with.  There may be special circumstances that will require an approach or communication of someone you were not expecting.  For example the bagger at the grocery store may speak a foreign language and you can not communicate.  I would not treat this bagger any different, minus small talk that I would partake with someone speaking English.  The reality that everyone has several personas that they utilize during many days.  The fact we need to constantly keep in mind the fact that we are all different and that is what is so wonderful about diversity.  “Intercultural communication competence is the ability to adapt your behavior toward another in ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture” (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p 104).  Adaption is prime in allowing ourselves and others to feel comfort in their unknown or in communicating.  Trust is vital for anyone to share information to another.  Therefore we must be sincere in every communication situation.  Remember to implement the Platinum Rule in your life, and you can hopefully gain trust within differences.  Allowing the comfort of communication with different people to become easier.    

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Great Communication Excerise For All

·         For this assignment, again consider what you have been learning about communication skills and styles. Then record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off.

I have selected to watch Workin’ Moms, season 1 episode 1, found on Netflix or many other channels.  I watched through https://www.cbc.ca/workinmoms/

·         What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?

·         What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

In this show there were 3 main characters it appeared, 3 women.  These women seemed to be friends and the show would cap on pieces of each of their life.  The first character was a dark brown headed mother that has a CEO position at her job.  There was a scene at her job, where she was the only female and was able to make the pitch or sale.  Of course this baffled the men in the conference room.  The next woman has dirty blonde curly hair and sales homes for a living, a realtor.  Her life seems to be very disturbing from the actions she displays on the show.  At one time she had submerged her head in a pool of the home she was showing.  A potential homebuyer was scared and pulled her out.  The facial expression on the homebuyer’s face was of disgust and shock. The last member of the group of friends is a blonde-haired lady who attends a doctor’s appointment on this show.  From the impression I gained from reading the body language and facial expression, she did not receive good news at the doctor.  She was in shock and rather upset.  When she entered her home, she was very upset and withheld her information at first from her husband.  After a few moments of their home life, we finally see the conversation with her husband and the shock and concern on his face from the news she is sharing.  As they are comforting each other with hugs and signs of empathy through his demeanor.  With this first show experience include many actors/actress, the focus was on the main 3 women.  From the start of the show you see them sitting in what I assumed was a breast-feeding support group, but turns out not to be from the response of the other women in the group.  So I assume the show is focused on the relationship and lives of these three women, whom display a comical demeanor I believe.  I look forward to turning the sound on, as it was very interesting and I was eager to truly understand what was going on.  Non-verbal can indeed be beneficial, but it can not give you adequate or ample information to obtain what is necessary to process I feel.  For examples the facial expressions of the individuals when the women were in their group meeting with their shirts off.  I do not believe it was a breastfeeding support group as when the show continued you see the other women in the group clothed.  As also when the one character receives news at the doctors office, her face tells she indeed received bad new or news that I am sure no woman would like to hear.  The best scene to me on the show that I truly understood from the actions and behaviors was at the very end.  The very dark- haired CEO mother is jogging with her child in a stroller on a trail in a forest.  She runs onto an area that a bear is rambling through trash cans.  She immediately stops.  The bear growls, yells or whatever sound they make.  She stands in front of the stroller and yells back at the bear.  The bear rubs off.  As a mother myself and the juggles I face, watching this show I could relate to her approach to the bear.  I am eager to listen to the dialogue between the characters, to get an accurate impression of the plot and characters.  I would like to see how accurate I was with at least the main characters.     

·         Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

·         What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?

·         Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

Once the sound was up and I replayed the show, I found some of my assumptions to be some- what accurate, but mostly off for the most.  For example one major mistake I made was of the blonde actor whom visited the doctor.  She did not receive the news I assumed she had.  My assumptions was that possible an abnormal exam occurred and she found out she diagnosed with cervical cancer or another medical illness.  When in reality the woman found out she was pregnant, which was shocking news for anyone in that situation.  As she had just delivered another child 9 months prior.  Another assumption I made was from the first scene, the women appeared to at a breastfeeding support group for mothers.  Well, these women were at a support group, but not for just breastfeeding.  Apparently they had previous feed, but was finished and just talking amongst themselves about the difference in their breast.  As the scene moves forward we see the facial expressions and comments of the other women.  Encouraging them to put their cloths back on.  I would say the greatest assumption I made would be related to a reality facing these women, postpartum depression.  Creating many emotions all at once and seening to feel overwhelmed.  For example this explains why the blonde realtor had submerged her head in the pool.  She had previous spoke with her significant other and child on face-time and was missing them, as this was her first day back to work.  Without the sound previously I was a bit confused.  I assumed she had some concerns, but of course realizing the situation now, we understand . 

            If my situation had change and I had watched a show that I was familiar with or already understood the plot and characters to “Workin Moms”, I feel my assumptions would have been a bit more accurate.  I appreciate the skills and understanding I gained from this exercise.  I feel honestly we all could benefit from the concept of how we misinterpret individuals and or a conversation from afar.  Not to mention the hidden bias or thoughts we may already have pertaining to the subject or topic of communication.  Through the gained knowledge from this week’s resource, I was able to gain the knowledge to be more attentive to the ques in communication.  “To receive the optimum amount of information in the message, it is important to interpret a speaker’s nonverbal cues correctly” (p.113).  When words are not put with these cues, it can indeed be misinterpreted.  Just as the nonverbal cues can be interpreted during the communication process.  The ability to demonstrate and interpret communication skills accurately is vital in comprehending a conversation in it’s meaning and or relaying a message accurately.  I challenge each individual to try this exercise and see indeed how factual you are and possibly why not, once listening with the sound.

Reference

O'Hair, D., Friedrich, G. W., & Dixon, L. D. (2011). Strategic communication in business and the professions. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. 

Communication and Collaborating in EC Field

Communicating and Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field first blog assignment is to think of someone (e.g., family member, celebrity, politician, friend, or professor) who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. What behaviors does this person exhibit that make him or her effective? Would you want to model some of your own communication behaviors after this person? Why or why not?

I feel that the person I would say that demonstrates competent communication within the particular context of early childhood education would be my former employer Gina.  She is the owner and operator of 2 operating childcare centers.  She is not only an advocate for children she serves, but also her church and community.  From my pervious experience in observing her communicate with parents, staff, and myself.  She maintains a level of ethics and respect always.  Allowing every individual to express themselves and their opinions.  In any staff meeting she would follow with a written dialect the next day, for us to verify our interpretation, as well as her coding/meaning.  Open body language that shows attention to the messenger and their point of view.  She advocates for her views and the rights for children.  She portrayed an admiral demeanor throughout every encounter.  I recall an obstacle relating to the facilities water, as she was on a well, she faced during my employment that created a great adversity for her professionally and personally.  As she lost children due to having to be closed for water repair.  She maintained a composer that allowed open and clear communication with parents and staff.

            I would state that she would fall into the Code of Ethics and Values provided by the NAEYC.  The “…commitment to

·         Appreciate childhood as a unique and valuable stage of the human life cycle

·         Base our work on knowledge of how children develop and learn

·         Appreciate and support the bond between the child and family

·         Recognize that children are best understood and supported in the context of family, culture, community, and society

·         Respect the dignity, worth, and uniqueness of each individual (child, family member, and colleague)

·         Respect diversity in children, families, and colleagues

·         Recognize that children and adults achieve their full potential in the context of relationships that are based on trust and respect” (National Association for the Education of Young Children, 2005, p 1).

Demonstrating these values and others that are associated with her philosophy allows her the opportunity to remain open, respectful, and patient in communicating.  Additional as for anyone the means of communication can have ample purposes.  For when one is making a point or addressing an issue, facts and finds from other sources are vital.  Having adequate information and facts can allow us to validate our opinions and views.  For example a great piece of knowledge I gained early in my academic career was the reality of epistemology.  When we are able to become intellectually virtuous.  We must evaluate the opinions and facts presented in a conversation to validate its truth.  “A full study of the subject would require delving into the various sources of knowledge such as perception, memory and testimony, in addition to whatever faculties of understanding we may have that allow us to grasp truths independently of sense of experience” (Wood, 1998, p 15).  There are many factors that contribute to communication and relying a message.  We must filter whether one is sharing an opinion, experience, facts, or views.  I can say I feel Mrs. Gina indeed displayed these traits from my interpretation.  I truly look up to her and she is one of the role models that have led me to the path I am on now.  My first employer, my first passion, serving children.  Watching her through the years has helped my fuel stay full in traveling down a road to my goals in my professional and personal life.    

References

National Association for the Education of Young Children. (2005, April). NAEYC code of          ethical conduct and statement of commitment. Retrieved from            http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/PSETH05.pdf

Wood, J. (1998). Epistemology; Becoming intellectually virtuous. Downers Grove, IL:     InterVarsity Press.